Monthly Archives: August 2013

Tips for flying with a baby (or how not to smell like roadkill by the time you arrive)

traveling

So I decided to pack up Elizabeth when she was two months old, get on a plane, and fly across the country. Call me crazy but it was the quickest way to get to Phoenix and we had some really important business there! Anyway, we made it about 30 miles into our 2,500 mile journey – approximately to the runway at JFK – before she puked all over me and proceeded to cry her face off for the next two hours while we were then delayed and continued to sit on the runway. And when I say “puked all over me” I mean all. over. me. I brought an extra shirt in my carry-on, just in case, but I hadn’t anticipated the volcanic eruption of projectile vomit that necessitated an extra pair of pants and bra.

Let’s just say that I smelled pretty ripe by the time we arrived at midnight local time and looked like a wild animal – my hair was a mess, my shirt was half on/half off from our last nursing session, and of course Elizabeth woke up screaming with a vengeance by the time we arrived at the rental car counter. The guy working the night shift did us a solid and used his car rental powers to give us his employee discount, plus upgraded us to a really nice SUV. But I’m pretty sure he would have done anything to get rid of the crazy lady who smelled like roadkill and her screaming, smelly spawn at that point.

This being my first time traveling with the baby, and solo to boot, I learned many lessons very quickly. Some things I did worked out (like shipping things to my destination ahead of time); other things left much to be desired (like why the hell did I bring 3,000 onesies?). If you’re getting a plane with a baby, here’s my advice:

Before you leave:

  • Look up the airline’s policy before you book a ticket. Many airlines offer discounted infant seats so you can bring your FAA-approved car seat on board instead of flying with the baby in your lap.
  • Cut in half what you plan to bring. Lay out what you want to pack ahead of time. Cut it in half. If you are going somewhere that has a washer/dryer…. cut it in half again. Seriously – take as few things as you could possibly need. The less you have to carry, tote around, and retrieve at security or the baggage claim… the better. Bring only a couple of your child’s favorite toys.
  • Do a dry run. I had never used our car seat without the base, but was not bringing the base on the trip. The day before we left, I practiced putting it in (and taking it out) of my car at home with the shoulder belt. I also practiced rolling my suitcase (full of our crap) while pushing the stroller before we left. I was glad I felt comfortable doing these things because I was pretty frazzled by the time we landed and didn’t have much mental capacity left. I was glad to know “it worked” beforehand.
  • Make sure you have all your essentials and don’t sweat the rest. Chances are you can purchase anything non-essential that you might have forgotten at home once you arrive at your destination.
  • FedEx! Send out what you won’t need until you get there – like all the OTHER diapers and wipes you’ll use – ahead of time.
  • Take only one carry on. JUST ONE! And pack an ENTIRE extra outfit on there for you and some layers for the baby in case temperatures fluctuate between the airport, plane, etc. I also put everything in clear plastic bags – from onesies to pacifiers – in case they searched us going through security. Security agents are constantly touching tons of things, so when they paw through your bag they won’t come into direct contact with your baby’s pacifiers, clothes, etc.
  • Track your flight before you leave. You don’t want to arrive too early!
  • Pick your travel outfit wisely. Pants with big pockets to stash stuff, slip on shoes, you know the drill. All those tips about how to get through security quickly become way more pertinent when you are trying to get through with a baby.
  • A note about expressed breastmilk or formula/baby food. You can usually bring these items as a carry-on in unlimited amounts. Check with the airline first.

At the airport:

  • If you are traveling solo, assume you will be doing everything yourself. A lot of fellow travelers are parents themselves, and were even in your shoes one day. They will likely take pity on you and offer help, but you can’t count on anything. If you assume you have to do everything yourself, that second set of hands from a kind stranger sitting next to you is a welcome relief, but not necessary.
  • Hand wipes and sanitizer. All the time, on everything. I’m not a germophobe until I walk into an airport. I wiped the hell out of everything I touched and wherever I put the changing pad down. We made it through the trip and neither of us picked up any bugs.
  • Anticipate delays. Bring enough diapers, wipes, etc. in your carry-on for a potentially long haul.
  • Wear your baby. I really like using the Ergobaby for traveling because it has the sleeping hood AND a pocket for your things you need to have accessible. They will make you take the baby carrier OFF when you are going through security, but I put Elizabeth in the Ergo while I broke down the stroller and car seat (which also need to go through the x-ray machine), then sent the Ergo through the machine while I carried the baby. By the time we got to the other end of the line, the car seat had come out and was ready for her to sit in while I gathered the rest of our belongings.*
    • *This lovely story is from when we went through security on our return trip. Our voyage through security before we departed? Horrible. Not only did I lose Elizabeth’s blankie, but I also had to shove her under my arm like a football (Elizabeth, if you’re reading this one day: I’M SORRY) while I broke down the stroller and car seat with one hand which is umm next to impossible because I didn’t realize the entire stroller had to go through the x-ray machine. Let’s call that a “lesson learned.”
  • Gate check your stroller. For most airlines you can check the car seat/stroller travel systems at the gate. Having use of your stroller through the airport is awesome for carting carry-on(s) and you know, actually holding your baby. We only have one stroller and car seat**, so I bought these big red gate check bags to put them in to protect from scuffs. If you’re solo, wear your baby at the gate when you are packing these up as well. I was glad I bought the bags, because there were scuff marks on them and it was raining when we arrived so the car seat would have been soaked when I picked it up at our arrival gate.
    • **If you are going to travel a lot, you may want to consider getting a second travel system that you don’t care that much about getting scuffed and skip the gate check bags. One less thing to worry about bringing and doing!
    • Also, you can check your stroller before even going through security if you don’t want or need it. For that, I would suggest getting the luggage bags for whatever brand you have – they are generally sturdier and protect the stroller better while it’s getting tossed around on conveyor belts and such.
  • Get to your gate a bit early, about 30 mins before boarding. Talk to an airline rep – they might be able to get you a better seat, provide assistance boarding, or even hook you up next to an empty seat to give you a bit more room. Or, in my case, they could kind of be bitches about everything but I think those were two isolated employees at JFK who fed off one another’s misery.

In the air:

  • Nurse, nurse, nurse… or do something that comforts your baby. I found that Elizabeth was unsettled by the experience at first, but nursing brought her a lot of comfort and on the first leg of the journey that’s pretty much all we did.
  • Water, water, water. Not only to hydrate yourself (especially if you are breastfeeding), but you can also use the water for mixing formula, etc. Most flights will have this on board and you can purchase once you are past security.
  • Use the seat back pocket. Stash anything you want to have easy access to there. Since you packed everything in plastic bags in your carry on, this makes it easy to keep everything clean and organized within easy reach.
  • Relax. Baby will pick up on your stress and respond in kind. It’s not fun traveling with an infant, but you can pretend.
  • Pat yourself on the back. You made it through security, through boarding the plane, and are on your way. It’s almost over.

Once you arrive:

  • Wear your baby, again. Before you deplane, get situated with the baby carrier of your choice so that you can collect any gate checked items before proceeding to baggage claim.
  • Ask for help, if you need it. I can only assume flight attendants want to get the hell out of there as much as you do. They will probably be more than willing to help expedite your exit so whether it’s getting a bag from the overhead (which you don’t have, because you only brought ONE carry on, right?) or holding the baby for a second, ask for help and usually ye shall receive.

That covers all of the wisdom I can impart from our trip. Any other traveling parents out there? Since I’ve only done the plane thing once, I bet there are a LOT of other tips out there. Leave a comment with your two cents!

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Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

Happy World Breastfeeding Week! In honor of this week, I wanted to share our own somewhat tumultuous journey over the past couple of months. It has a very happy ending, so if you’re facing challenges breastfeeding, stick with it. It’s worth it!

Three days after Elizabeth was born, my milk “came in.” Right on cue. But wait, I was in serious pain when she latched (or tried to latch) and things didn’t feel right. I knew she needed to eat, I could tell by her wails, and I needed to get my milk out somehow. I figured I could pump and we could give her bottles until we could see an LC (it was Memorial Day), so I opened up my breast pump and for some reason (ahem… pregnancy hormones… ahem) I was completely overwhelmed. Between all of the fun post-partum stuff happening, plus the pain and lack of sleep… I didn’t have the brain capacity to clean the parts, put them together, and read the damn manual. So I did the next best thing: hand expressed milk into a Pyrex bowl while sitting on the side of our bed and then gave it to Elizabeth with a spoon (it made sense at the time and got the job done!). I was still in a lot of pain, and at one point saw blood-tinged milk come out of my breast. Crying baby, crying mom. YIKES!

This wasn’t exactly the peaceful, angelic picture of breastfeeding I had envisioned. While I was hand expressing like a boss, I couldn’t help but think back to one of my early prenatal visits when my midwife asked me if I planned to breastfeed. The obvious answer, to me, was “Yes! Of course!” She then threw me a curveball and asked, “Do you feel like you have the support you need to breastfeed?” I asked her what she meant by that – support? I was just going to breastfeed, simple as that. I even thought (which now seems ironic), “How hard could it be?”

Anyway, I needed support that morning, and I needed it immediately. I reached out to a local La Leche League Leader and she helped me wrap my head around what to do next, including how to get through the next couple of days until we could see a lactation consultant. She was a lifesaver and talked me off a ledge that morning but I got really sad thinking that maybe there was something wrong with me, that I couldn’t provide for my daughter, and felt like I was headings towards failure – my goal had been to breastfeed for a year and here I was, a few days in, and having doubts.

To cut to the chase, it turned out I had a nipple infection (yes, OUCH!) because Elizabeth had a posterior tongue-tie and was basically using her gums to breastfeed. It prevented her from latching properly (read: chomp chomp!) and was a relatively easy fix once our LC figured out what was going on. We saw a specialist, Dr. Dahl in New York City, who was great – she clipped the tie for us in mere seconds and had me feed Elizabeth right in her office, moments after the procedure. It took us longer to get off the FDR and across town than it did for us to have the entire office visit. It felt immediately better, and it was there that I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It took about six (long) weeks, multiple sessions with the LC, and lots of time dedicated to nursing until we hit our stride. I’ve nursed her everywhere – from restaurants to the car to airplanes – and every way – standing, in the baby carrier, lying down, sitting. It’s pretty cool now! But back to that “support” my midwife asked me about… having the support of the LLL, lactation consultant, and midwives was indispensable but what really meant the most to me was having support from my husband. Not once did he tell me to give up, suggest we switch to formula, or say he didn’t think we could get through it. Instead, he was right next to me as I spoke to the LLL leader, sat for hours in our lactation consultant appointments remembering everything the LC said so that I didn’t have to, drove the family down to Dr. Dahl’s office in NYC, reminded me to treat the infection in my breasts, cooked for me, brought me glass after glass of water, made sure I was taking care of myself so I could take care of the baby, and held my hand when I cried out of frustration, pain, hormonal mood swings, and finally out of pure joy once things started to get better.

But, most importantly, he frequently reminds me how cool it is that my body, quite literally, keeps our baby alive and he thanks me for feeding her. In those “thank yous” I know he means much more – thank you for being dedicated to feeding our daughter, for the time you spend nursing, for the time you will spend pumping back at work, and on and on. I never thought he would be anything BUT supportive, but just hearing him say it out loud makes me feel great.

To all the pregnant mamas planning to breastfeed – my best advice is this: have a support system in place before you give birth – talk to your doctor, your pediatrician, go to La Leche League meetings, watch women breastfeed in real life, and learn how to use your breast pump, you know, just in case you need it right away.

Cheers to all you mamas out there who breastfed/feed your babies, and cheers to all the support people who help along the way. It’s a labor of love but hey, I hear that’s what parenting is all about anyway!

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